Fan Fest

I was lucky enough to be given a ticket to MLB All-Star Fan Fest here in NYC.  I went on Friday hoping to escape the horrendous crowds that would invariably be congregating throughout the weekend.  Even though we managed to miss the big crowds there were still thousands of people crawling throughout the convention center, and the lines for most of the attractions were still fairly long–at least 45 minute waits.  It was a long journey to get to the Jarvis center, but it was well worth it.

Upon entering Fan Fest we were greeted by an old time band.  These guys were awesome, and I don’t think I heard them stop the whole time I was roaming around the convention center.  It was the perfect soundtrack for checking out all kinds of baseball exhibits.  It made me feel like I was in the movie 8 Men Out.  We were also given a credit card by MasterCard that we could take to different kiosks to swipe and try and win a prize.  You get 3 swipes (strikes) to try and win (get a hit).  With my first swipe I hit a Home Run, and the girl seemed genuinely surprised, and told me where to go to claim my prize.  My eyes were alight with the possibilities of what my prize might be.  I mean it’s a home run, and really the only thing better is a grand slam (they weren’t making distinctions between solo, 2-run, etc.).  My brain was abuzz as I was considering the possibilities.  We walked over to the booth so that I could claim my prize, and I see all this cool stuff everywhere: clocks, baseballs, and other items.  The guy sees my hat, and goes “Oh a Mets fan huh!”  Yes Captain Obvious I am, hence the hat.  Anyways so the douche bag pulls out a Mets pennant and gives it to me, and I stood there waiting for something else until I realized that that was my prize.  What a ripoff.  I think i got jobbed, but what can you do.

The first thing we checked out was the baseball auction.  There was so many rare pieces–or what I thought was rare–of memorabilia I was astounded.  I counted 8 baseballs signed by Babe Ruth.  Of course with this being in NY it was heavy on the NY baseball memorabilia–mostly Yankees.  There was tons of autographed pictures, bats, balls, gloves, awards, baseball cards, and other quirky items like credit cards.  Some of the notable player represented were Whitey Ford, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra, Keith Hernandez, Gary Carter, Tom Seaver, Willie Mays, Jackie Robinson, Duke Snider, and a bunch of others I have forgotten.  One of the coolest items for sale was the 1986 New York Mets World Series trophy.  If only I had money to burn, I would have bid on that item.

The next section we went to was the a small Cooperstown collection.  For most of the first few exhibits I had forgotten that I had brought my camera so I completely forgot to take pictures.  Seeing these display cases just intensified my desire to go to Cooperstown sometime soon.  They had a lot of great items.  Mostly jerseys, hats, replica plaques, bats, and programs.  I am still always amazed by the size of some of the old time gloves.  One guys glove–I think it might have been Dizzy Dean’s–was so small that it wasn’t much bigger than the gloves we all wear on a cold winter day.  Ridiculously small, and they were usually pretty tattered from use in multiple seasons.  Phil Rizzuto’s glove looked like it had been attacked by a doberman.  Highlights for me was checking out the Babe Ruth items and Roberto Clemente’s jersey.

Next up we checked out the Negro Leagues section.  This spot was really cool, and it was also where I remembered that I brought a camera.  At the back of the display they had a great picture of the Homestead Grays.  I don’t recognize everyone in the picture, but I did recognize Satchel Paige, Josh Gibson, and Cool Papa Bell.  They also setup a bunch of lockers with different players’ jerseys, pictures, and a short bio.  It’s great seeing this type of stuff although it tends to make me feel a little sad that a lot of guys never got the chance to play in the big leagues.  The Negro Leagues almost seem kind of mythical in that there are all kinds of legends, and rumors.  We may never know the exact stats of most of these guys or even know the complete truth, but it is good to see them recognized.

Next up we visited the awards display from Tiffany’s.  It was cool to see all the awards that are handed out in MLB.  They had the World Series trophy, the WBC trophy, the Silver Slugger, AL and NL Rookie of the year, the Gold Glove, the MVP, the Roberto Clemente award, and some other lesser awards.  It was here where I drew the ire of the security personnel stationed around the awards by exclaiming, “I wonder what would happen if I grabbed on of these and ran around with it, like I had just won,” in my usual loud voice.  The security guard that heard me looked at me threateningly with his eyes which he had narrowed down to mere slits, to try and seem more menacing.  We left soon afterwards and headed towards the interactive section of the fest.  They had quite a few really cool exhibits.  They had video batting cages (where you can pick the hurler you want to bat against), regular batting cages, video pitching (pick a masher and try to whiff him), regular pitching (which just recorded your fastest pitch), they also had a fielding section (where you catch pop-ups and then throw them in), there was a home run derby cage, and then there was the stealing home attraction (which was mostly for kids but it timed your speed from third to home).  Because of the length of the lines, and because we were tired from exploring the convention center for almost five hours, I only was able to try out one attraction.  I picked the video batting cages, and after waiting for almost an hour I got my shot to try it out.  For those that haven’t seen these things yet let me explain how they do it.  First it’s basically a batting cage with a movie screen on the far end.  They have a hole cut into the screen so that the ball looks like it comes out the the pitchers hand.  Unfortunately they cut an X in the screen, leaving little flaps, which doesn’t allow the ball fly true.  A lot of the pitches end up looking like screw balls, instead of fastballs, change-ups, and sliders.  Anyways so when it was my turn I decided to go up against a lefty.  The only two lefties I wanted to try were Pettitte and Oliver Perez.  I decided to go up against Perez and the guy behind me cracked “oh Perez huh, which one? the good Perez or the bad Perez?” I wasn’t sure which was better, and replied “I dunno, I’m either gonna get hit five times or hit five bombs.”  After that witty repartee I threw on my helmet, and grabbed one of their crappy bats.  I dig a couple quick stretches, took some practice hacks, and then waited to be embarrassed.  First pitch a hit a nice hard ground that was probably an out.  The second pitch I scorched a gapper to right center, which would maybe if I was lucky have turned into a double.  The third pitch I almost took in the gut, and had to jump out of the way, and after this pitch I started thinking way too much.  On the fourth and fifth pitches I whiffed on some pretty nasty sliders, one on the outside corner and one that just dropped right out of the strike zone.  I think it may have bounced off the plate.  So that was my experience against Oliver Perez, and I’m glad that I hit one hard.

After that we decided to leave.  There is a bunch other stuff that we ended up checking out, but I didn’t talk about because it was anything special.  There are a lot of things that were there that you would find at any convention or card show.  There were a ton of carpetbaggers trying to sell all kinds of crap to people, a plethora of tables with baseball cards, and other memorabilia, and there was autograph signings.  Which reminds me next to the autograph signings they had a the ESPN radio show going live, and my good buddy Steve Philips was there.  So I got to yell a couple disparaging remarks at him and throw some BOOOOOOOOS!! his way.  I don’t think he heard me, what with his headphones on, but everyone in the crowd heard me.

After that we left and it is here that I will go on a tangent to tell just one more story, and this one has nothing to do with baseball, but with my ride home.

It has to do with the fact that we left around 5:30 PM which means we were trying to go home during rush hour.  I usually try not to travel during rush hour, but it couldn’t be helped.  So we took a bus to Madison Square Garden, and then hopped on the E train.  The fucking E train, I swear, it is a hive of scum and villainy.  When the trains are packed and there is no seats I like to stand by the door, and when the trains moving I lean on the door and grab the railing to the bench seat closest to me.  That’s what I tried to do this time, except I was prohibited from getting a decent grip by the humongously fat black lady that was sitting at the end.  She was literally exploding out of her clothes–which were too small for her–and she had on a shit-ton of gold jewelry.  The problem was that the bracelets and anklets that she was wearing were way too small also so the fat was flopping over the gold bands.  It was pretty disgusting, as was she, plus she was just an angry curmudgeon.  I kept trying to get a good grip on the hand rail but her fat kept preventing me.  Then she would stare at me, like she was trying to wish cancer on me, because her enormous body kept touching my hand.  I guess this bugged her because she kept trying to stare me down, and turn me to stone, but it bugged me because I didn’t want her foul body to touch me.  So I decided to move before she devoured me, but I left her a parting gift.  Just before I left she started staring at me again, and I turned my ass to her, and floated a nice SBD right in her fat mug.  She didn’t choke and die so she must have liked it, because it was a foul one I can tell you that much.  Thankfully Jabba left soon after–maybe my fart made her hungry–and I was left in peace for the rest of the ride home.  So that’s pretty much it that was my Fan Fest experience, mostly.  If you have the chance to go to one I highly recommend it, especially if you have money.  There are some very cool items to buy.  Here are all of the pictures that I took for your viewing pleasure.

Homestead Grays Banner

Negro League Lockers

Josh Gibson Locker

Satchel Paige Locker

World Series Trophy

World Baseball Classic Trophy

Home Run Derby Trophy

MVP Trophy

Roberto Clemente Award

Old Timey Band 1

Old Timey Band 2

~ by Perpetual Memory Loss on July 15, 2008.