Dick and Fart Jokes

Some people tend to think that dick and fart jokes are base and the lowest form of comedy.  I still find them to be highly entertaining and hilarious however.  So in honor of dick and fart jokes, and to show that they are not the lowest form of comedy, I am going to share some of the best dick and fart jokes from Dante’s The Inferno. In his description of the punishment allotted to flatterers Dante says:

Thither we came, and thence down in the moat

I saw a people smothered in filth

That out of human privies seemed to flow;

And whilst below there with mine eye I search,

I saw one with his head so foul with  ordure,*

It was not clear if he were clerk or layman.

*The literal translation of ordure from Italian is shit.

The next one is perhaps my favorite and it is an encounter that Dante and Virgil have with some demons in Hell.  Here the leader of the demons, Malacoda, orders his minions to help Dante and Virgil.  As they prepared to do his bidding they gave each other a signal.

Along the left-hand dike they wheeled about;

but first had each one thrust his tongue between

His teeth towards their leader for a signal;

And he made a trumpet of his rump.*

*Actual Italian translation is not rump but ass or asshole.

I love the imagery of one set of demons giving a Bronx Cheer while the leader farts back at them.  The last one is an excerpt of the punished souls blashpheming God.

At the conclusion of his words, the thief

Lifted his hands aloft with both the figs,*

Crying: “Take that, God, for at thee I aim them.”

* Figs is a hand signal where the thumb is pushed out between the index and middle fingers while a fist is formed.  It combines the female vulva and the male phallus and means “Fuck You!” or “Up You Ass!”

Well there you have it dick and fart jokes in classical literature.  If it was good enough for Dante then it can’t be all that bad.

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~ by Perpetual Memory Loss on June 18, 2008.

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